When I was working at Outback Steakhouse in Fargo, ND, I was living in Moorhead with my partner at the time. The weekend previous to this particular Monday, I had gotten my hair cut. I hadn't shared my plans with my partner, I wanted it to be a surprise. Apparently, it was such a surprise that they didn't even notice. As the hours and days passed by without recognition of a difference (it was considerable, and styled completely different from the norm) or a single compliment, I got more and more depressed. I went to work that Monday, to open the restaurant, and I'M the one who got a surprise. Shortly after hitting the buzzer in the back to be let in, the door opened. I pushed my way through the plastic dangly things (to keep the bugs out) to see Jory, one of our cooks standing there holding the door. "Wow Anddi. You look really nice today! Did you get a haircut?" I. Was. Flabbergasted! I thanked him and went to the bathroom to put away my bag. I came around the kitchen corner and Cody was standing there cutting "Bloomin' Onions" and he looked up at me as I said "Hi " to him. "I like your haircut, Anddi. It looks really good on you." I teared up, and he could see I was upset. He walked around the counter, and being careful not to put his onioney hands on me, gave me a hug. "____ didn't notice.. Did they?" All I could do at that point was shake my head. I was simultaneously touched by the sweetness of these two coworkers, and hurt at the lack of attention that was paid by my partner. "You deserve better, Anddi." He said.
That is one of my top 5 all time favorite memories. I can't talk about Cody, or Jory for that matter, without telling that story. Now let me go back in time a bit, to when I first started working at Outback...
Cody scared the SHIT out of me. He is the A-typical badass. Well... He LOOKS like the A-typical badass anyway. His hair was much longer than mine, he had facial piercings and a glare that could shatter Italian marble. He intimidated me. I don't get intimidated easily. Eventually, I stopped taking the shit he gave me, and gave some right back. At one point, I mouthed off to him when he got snarky with me and he was so taken aback that he laughed. From then on we were friends. I was always respectful and polite, and he paid me the same courtesy. I even think that sometimes, my food came up before other peoples' because he liked me better. At least I like to think so.
I came to learn, later, that while Cody did love his fair share of punk rock, he also had a soft spot for jazz music. He was going to school for ceramics (and now that I have seen his work, thanks to the Facebooks, I have confirmed what I always assumed) and he is incredibly talented. We had great conversations because he listened and engaged when we talked. I used to french braid his super long hair when we had a slow shift with nothing to do. If I ever needed help, Cody would drop everything to help me. And one day, I came into work, and in the hallway by the employee restrooms there were 2 clear plastic file holders attached to the wall. In one of them, there was an envelope with my name on it. Inside the envelope was a little plastic party favor eye patch. No note. No explanation. So I put it on! I did all of my opening duties that day with one eye. Our district food tech was in that day, and he couldn't stop giggling. But my philosophy was that if someone saw this and thought that I needed to have it, I was going to wear it with pride. I actually still carry it with me in my back pack, and whip it out on occasion! I had it with me at the Duluth Tall Boats Festival this past summer, and I always wear it when I am feeling particularly piratey. Oh yeah.. I found out a few days later, that Cody was the one who left it for me.
One of the very last times I saw Cody in person, was the day we found out we were fired. We had had a meeting scheduled for the Sunday after the mullet fest that was the Bon Jovi concert. I showed up in a GREAT mood. I didn't actually have to work that day AND I had my favorite Chai Tea to drink during the meeting. Being the paranoid person I am, I showed up early, and the managers and our current and former district managers were having a meeting on one side of the restaurant. So I went to the bar side to wait for our part of the meeting to start. The night before had been a disaster of epic proportions. It was the night of the big Bon Jovi concert and we were packed and on a wait (meaning we didn't have enough tables for all the people who wanted to sit down) for 3 hours or so. About an hour into dinner service, we started running out of things. Food things. We were running out of steaks. We were running out of shrimp, and bread and chicken.. We would have to go back to our tables multiple times to retake orders, as we would find out we were out of part or all of what they ordered AFTER we had ordered it on the computers. Most of us were in tears at some point, because it was the most stressful night of work I have ever had. To this day, it has not been topped. Even Kyle, the one cook I just couldn't get along with, told me that the managers owed us an apology for all the shit we went through that night. Some of my coworkers went out and got wasted that night. I didn't. I was chipper, and not hungover, and excited that I got to go home after the meeting.
If the concert hadn't tipped me off as a precursor to disaster, then me spilling my entire glass of chai probably should have. It didn't. Jory showed up, so hungover I thought he would throw up in the booth he laid down in. Shortly after I cleaned up my mess, my manager came running over and grabbed a pile of paychecks from where they were sitting on the bar and some other papers and made a beeline for the manager meeting. I thought it was odd that she had the paychecks ready 5 days early, but again, no red flags in my brain. Finally everyone was there. Cody was standing stoically on the other side of the bar from where I was. I waved at him, but he didn't look to be in the mood for my spastic personality yet, so I stayed where I was. Then, all hell broke loose. I can't remember the exact words of our new district manager, but here's the gist of it.. "Last night was your last shift, here is 2 weeks severance pay, good luck." Everyone was so stunned we thought it was a joke. When I realized that it was for real I started sobbing, and looked across the room at Cody. He looked as hurt as me, without all the ridiculous blubbering, of course. I ran into the arms of my manager's girl friend, whom I was very close to at the time. She was standing next to Cody and I grabbed him too. He put his arms around me and squeezed. Soon everyone was hugging everybody else. That place was our second home. The only friends I had in Fargo that were MINE were in that room and we were all hurting.
Later, I passed Cody on the freeway, on my way home. He didn't see me pull up next to his pimpin white mini. His head was dropped back onto the head rest, and I had never seen him like that. The sight of him, that upset broke my heart all over again, and I eventually had to pull over to calm myself so I could drive the rest of the way home. I haven't seen Cody in a few years, but I think about him all the time.Everytime that eyepatch he gave me comes out, I smile. Every time I want to knock out one of the cooks at the restaurant I currently work at, I think about how much I miss my line guys from Outback. Everytime I think about Outback, I remember how much I love that guy. The thing I miss the most is braiding his hair during a lull. I've never actually been the kind of girl who just braids people's hair.. But it was different when Cody asked me. I miss you Cody Trautner. Very very much.
Moving on, now, to a guy I know from St. Paul via Kansas City. His name is Joseph. I sometimes call him Mr. Ye. What can I say about Joseph? He's amazing. The first time I met him, Bonnie dragged me to one of his shows. She had met him at a Gogol Bordello concert, and fell in love with him. On a break between sets, we went to say hi and went outside so Joseph could smoke. Bonnie introduced me to him and he threw the one arm that didn't have the cigarette in it around me, hugged me and kissed my face. A guy. Hugged me, and kissed my face. I fell in love with him too. It's hard not to.
Joseph started coming to things, and we attended more of his shows. He plays piano and accordion in a band called Cantankerous Folk. I love every member of that band dearly, but each of those boys will have their own blog. This one belongs to Joseph. He came to my Mad Hatter Tea Party (my 29th birthday party) and started coming to other parties. Joseph is a riot, completely ok with being silly, and incredibly affectionate. I love this about him. I can tell him I love him, and not only does he not get grossed out or embarrassed, but he says it back! In FRONT of people. I'm a hugger, and he's always good for hugs.
He also doesn't have "the dude wall". By "dude wall" I mean that safety mechanism that slams down when you get too close to a guy, or he's hiding something. You know, when you look at someone, and you can't see what they are really feeling, and you feel sort of shut out? Joseph isn't wired that way. If he was, I wouldn't love him nearly as much as I do. I never feel like I am being shut out, and he doesn't have anything to hide from anyone, least of all me. He's open, and honest, and talented, and hilarious and awesomely nerdy.
It is a rare occasion that Joseph shows up to any event and doesn't present me with a bottle of alcohol. Namely, rum. I love rum. Almost as much as I love Mr. Ye. He's the life of the party most of the time, and even though he swears that he can't dance, he usually ends up dancing with us anyway. And, for the record, Joseph is a very good dancer. I would also be quite concerned, and downright upset, if there was a time that I saw Joseph without him kissing my face, or 'nom'ing my cranium. I can't be in a bad mood around that guy. It's damn near impossible. He's always cracking a joke, and making me choke on my drink, or tickling me, or hugging me, or petting my shoulder..
Speaking of shoulders.. For someone who is not a trained massage therapist, Joseph gives AMAZING massages! We do trades just about every time we see each other. And that boy has a lot of knots. A lot. And they are big ugly crunchy ones, too. One of the first times he was rubbing my shoulders, he started massaging my scalp and then gently tugged my hair... Puh... Dddllllee... There aren't many people I trust enough to allow them to do that. #1, sometimes people do it too hard and it hurts.. #2 Well.. That's none of your business!
Joseph is attempting to teach me piano. This is going to be difficult for a few reasons.. I have never played an instrument before, I am nervous trying to play something that someone else does really well IN FRONT of them and I can't read music very well. Ok.. I can't read music at all. I am too ADD and the logical side of my brain doesn't work all that well. My goal is to be able to play Moonlight Sonata. Joseph warned me that if he was going to be teaching me Beethoven, he was going to be, and I quote "an asshole about it." Oh dear. I AM practicing, and I am actually getting better. Even though the only things I can really do are sounding things out that I already know by heart and playing scales and a few chords.. Better than before I started anyhow!
If I haven't told you that Joseph is nerdy, yet, he's really really nerdy! We marathoned Star Wars one day/night (12ish hours) even though I was the only one awake past the first half of Empire. We watch Gargoyles and have arguments about the merits of Jar Jar Binks.. You see, I LOVE Jar Jar, and Joseph hates him. Joseph likes Star Trek, I do not. I think it evens it out. A bit. He also gets terribly upset when I remind him that I am neutral when it comes to Dr. Horrible. Yes, I am putting this out there for all to see. I do not love Dr. Horrible, but I also do not hate Dr. Horrible. But I feel the need to point out that I do love Repo: The Genetic Opera, and Joseph thinks it's stupid. Apparently, he is not as dark and morbid as I am. We talk about comic books, and nerdy t.v. series, and he laughs at my nerdy t-shirt collection. We've explored one museum together, with Whittney, so far, and I am planning many more nerdy adventures for us in the future.
Me, on the HMS Bounty in Duluth. Minnesota wearing the eye patch from Cody :)
Me and Mr. Ye
I just have to say, that I love having Joseph around. My life is so much better and more fun with him in it. Now that I am friends with Joseph, I can't imagine what my life would be like without him. I am so thankful that I got to meet such an amzing person, and without knowing him, I probably wouldn't know a bunch of my favorite people. I love you, too, Joseph Ye. More than I know how to handle or to describe in cyberspace. Thank you for being my friend, and loving me, even though I love Jar Jar Binks.
Joseph RULES with out a doubt! Right Mr. Sulu?
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